Unreal
by Five seas
Summary: He thought that after Hao's defeat, everything would come to place. Well, it didn't. Until she came along and bothered to care. A very OOC Millie/Lyserg. Surprise thrown in the middle. Rewritten.


**I don't own Shaman king.

* * *

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Unreal

The pale moon was shining through the window, bathing the room in its poor light. Distant, serene, the small orb in the sky hung melancholically over the desert. It felt so…cold.

Lyserg felt a shiver despite the fact that he was fully dressed. The desert night had always been freezing, but never had they reminded him so much of his own pathetic situation. He watched as a small whirlwind caught some sand and blew it a couple of miles before settling down, only to pick it up again when it gained more force. It was just like him, he thought, just like his life. He had been thrown down in the emptiest of lives, and left there, moving only when the wind that was his wish for vengeance rose again.

He still remembered what he felt when the fire, set to his home, was finally extinguished. The neighbors tried to keep him away, so that he wouldn't see the medical team take his parents' bodies away, but he had slipped them, and entered the home. The walls, the furniture, everything was cold, even though it had been white-hot when he returned. If he closed his eyes, he could re-construct the image of the house around him, remember every small detail, and lie to himself, that when he opened up to see the sun streaming from the windows, everything would be just fine.

Except that it wasn't fine. Everything around him was cold, lifeless ash.

Now, he felt just like that. Tomorrow, he would have to return to Patch village. With most of his comrades dead, and their beloved leader taken away to recover in Italy (with Marco as her loyal guard), the X-law's hovel was nothing but an empty church.

No, Lyserg corrected himself, it was worse. Those walls had always terrified him, with their shadowy corners and missing ceilings. He tried to convince himself that there was no problem, that the rooms were just high, but never really shook off the feeling that he was a bird in a very, very big cage-no matter how high he flew, he'd never reach the sky. And now that he was the only one left amongst those walls, he felt terrified. He had the feeling that if he remained, he'd lose his mind for sure.

However, daylight and change didn't make things any better for him. Yoh and the rest of the gang came along to help him find his new quarters, only a few blocks from their own, helped him unpack, helped him around the neighborhood….actually, they just dragged him around the village, doing everything for him, and all Lyserg did was look on and listen.

It hurt. It stung. It was sharp and dull and throbbing and aching…That feeling in his chest felt like a snake that was nesting in his heart. Everything was haunting him. He wasn't sure how he managed to pull a happy face for Yoh and the others, but when they left him alone, he couldn't stop shaking. Bright. Everything was so bright. And sunny. And cheerful. And he couldn't fit it. No matter what, he couldn't bring himself to laugh and have fun like he had back then.

And now he had people to remind him of the past. Of the mistakes he did. He had hurt so many of them, so many who still wished to be his friends. Ruy and Manta, Yoh, he had turned his back to them, had walked away. His pain had been great, but now he couldn't find the strength to feel happy. Could he even remember remotely when he had been happy? Lyserg always thought that vengeance would bring him peace and comfort, and allow him to move on. And now that he had vengeance, he still couldn't bring his life back to a certain degree of normality.

Had Hao won after all? Lyserg just had to look out the window to see how he had affected people's lives everywhere. The home of the ten priests was nothing but a flared image of its former beauty, the desert was not as peaceful as before, having become a refuge for his minions, and the people on the streets were tip-toeing around, still fearing some unexpected attack. Gods, they were even afraid to light a cigarette, everyone was that paranoid.

And the sand was blowing over the graves of his fellow X-laws, burying them somewhere in the scorching desert…How could anyone go on living with this fact hanging like a could of dread in the air. The answer was-they couldn't.

Lyserg felt like curling up somewhere and dying.

* * *

"Danna…" Ruy walked cautiously into his friend's room, trying to determine if the young shaman was asleep or just fooling around. He seemed peaceful enough, but you never knew, right?

"Yes?" he mumbled, slightly turning his head towards him "What is it? I'm meditating."

"Can I speak to you? All of you?" they needed to discuss something very seriously, and Ruy had been around long enough to know that Yoh could fake consciousness to fool Anna (as if that could ever happen), and that he was more likely to doze off in mid-sentence if he was spacing out.

Thankfully, the Asakura opened his eyes and smiled broadly. "What's up, Ruy?"

Sitting down on a chair, the tall man adjusted his sleeves and looked at his master.

"Danna, I'm worried about Lyserg. He's been rather out of it since you fought Hao."

"Maybe he's just getting used to being young and free."

"But he's not coming out of his room unless we go around and exclusively ask him to. He's pale and thin and he looks like he hasn't been eating."

"He's always been pale and thin. You took him for a girl at first, right?"

"Paler and thinner than usual." Ruy corrected "His clothes are hanging on him like on a rack."

"Well…maybe he doesn't like the food here."

"Danna, he's getting sick! You can't tell me you're not seeing it!" Ruy exclaimed indignantly

"Well, what do you expect me to do? Bust through the door and tell him that he has to snap out of it because otherwise I'll beat him up until he does?" Yoh's brow was quizzical "Ruy, I'm worried about him as well, but we can't just force him to be fine. We just have to wait."

"For what?" Ruy asked "For him to get too hungry and realize he has to eat or starve?"

"That's a start." The younger shaman shrugged "It's best to wait for him to come around. And in the meantime-show him that there is always someone to listen to him when he needs to."

* * *

The door opened to reveal a pair of overflowing grocery bags and two thin, delicate arms with pale manicure around them. There was some muffled curses, but they soon entered the kitchen, followed by the rest of Ellie. The blond haired woman landed the bags on the table, then braced herself on it and took a deep breath.

"Damn…" she mumbled "They make tomatoes too heavy nowadays."

"Why don't you rope some poor guy to carry them for you?" Sally drawled as she gathered some things that had fallen on the ground "I'm sure it would be no problem for you."

"Shut it!" Ellie snapped "I had Millie to help me, until we ran into Ruy and he decided to tell us all about his trouble with Lyserg."

"Where is the shrimp, by the way?" the red-head turned around to find the youngest member of the Lilly 5 walk slowly into the house, eyes fixed on the floor. Sally watched as the girl soundlessly left the bags she had been carrying on the counter and then sit down on a chair, staring at the wall.

"What's wrong with her?" Sally asked, while Ellie was putting away the groceries.

"I told you." The blond gritted her teeth "Ruy met us and decided to let us in on all of his worries about Lyserg getting all thin and depressed and sick. She just tuned out."

"I'd say." Waving a hand in front of the young girl's face, Sally noticed the slight paleness of her cheeks. "Oi, Millie…"

"He told us he wasn't eating." The girl mumbled "That's certainly not good. What if he kills himself like this?"

"You're just like Ruy." Ellie fumed "I should've whacked that guy on the head for giving her strange ideas. Now she'll worry herself sick."

"But he's suffering." Millie said, looking at the busty woman.

"You should've made him carry your groceries for you." Sally stated, while washing an apple "That would've been a suitable punishment for him."

"Nah. If I did that, he'd ask me on a date, and that's too troublesome."

"You don't like him? He looks like your type." The red-head grinned coyly

"In WHICH way, exactly? Sally, maybe it hasn't occurred to you that men are here for some other reason than to provide us with basic entertainment."

"Why? Have you found anyone who could give you more than that?"

"No. But they're not just your ordinary men, they're shamans. And they can tell when you're not entirely honest with them."

"Like that's not something we can't undo." Sally snorted

"Yeah, but do you think anyone wouldn't notice if anyone started acting strangely?" Ellie crossed her arms "Yoh-kun, per instance, is very observant."

"Really?" Millie looked up

"Yes." The blonde nodded "I mean, Yoh and the others have been really nice to us, and doing something to them would be…ungrateful."

"Indeed." The three turned to look at their leader walk into the kitchen with her usual pipe in hand "Misusing their trust would be the worst way to repay them from saving our lives, Sally. You should know that well enough."

"Besides…" Lilly decided to give her opinion on the question as well "Patch village is probably the only place on this continent where we can live without being bothered because of our powers. We partook a great journey just to find somewhere where we could be accepted. It would be most inconvenient to endanger our situation here with reckless….stunts."

"A date?" Sally looked confused.

"You know it's never JUST some date." Ellie sighed as she started cooking some soup for lunch "Dates tend to lead to relationships, and relationships have only one purpose nowadays, a purpose with which I am not totally comfortable with."

"Which is sad, because out of all of us, you are the likeliest to get one." Lilly drawled as she sat down next to Millie "What a curse!"

"I'd say. So…what is it about Lyserg that's gotten Millie so worked up?" Sharona asked.

"He's sick." The girl explained "And I'm worried."

"Well, why don't you go and see him then?" she asked "Maybe you can get him out to breathe some fresh air. It's good for the appetite."

"Yeah!" Millie's face suddenly lit up "Hey, maybe I should make him a bento. Or a sandwich. Do you think he'll like ham and honey?"

"Or maybe you could just buy dinner and eat it in the park." Sharona laughed. "Either way, I'm sure he can use the company."

"Really? Then I should go to him immediately…" she got off the chair and ran to the door, but stopped midway and slapped a hand across her forehead "Oh my God, what am I thinking. I probably look like a scarecrow! I have to change!" she hesitated between the bathroom and the bedroom, made a move to go to the first, changed her mind, stepped in the other direction and tripped over her own feet. Sharona, Sally, Lilly and Ellie watched the little show with widened eyes and slight grins. When the door to her bedroom finally closed and the sounds of her changing were heard, Ellie turned to their leader, her face somber and worried.

"You shouldn't fret over it." Sharona said calmly "She needs an occasional reality check."

* * *

Lyserg stared at the ceiling. For a good minute, he thought the ceiling stared back. How long had it been since he last tried to get up? How long had it been since anybody came around to see how he was?

Ever since he was little, he had hated clocks. Being reminded that he was running out of time was one of the things he detested. That's why he didn't bother to wear one. Unfortunate indeed, since he really wanted to know how much of his life had he left go down the drain. He reached and touched his cheek pensively-he was in his teens, yet he hardly had anything to shave. The sharp little heirs on his face told him that it had been at least a week.

A week since he came to Patch village and went back to the living. Yet he was dead. Dead to the world. Lyserg turned his head to look at the wall, the only thing he wanted to do at the moment, and wondered if he should get up and wash his face. He felt sleepy. He wanted to close his eyes and drift into a peaceful slumber, yet couldn't. Strange.

There was a tap on the door, light, hesitant. Was it the landlord? He remembered paying ahead for three months. Or perhaps that was the landlord of the church? Wait, the church belonged to Jeanne-sama, right? So…who was it then? His friends had stopped coming, they probably had a match going on or something. Strange, because his own Oracle Bell was silent.

Lyserg made a move to get up, but his limbs didn't listen to him and he tumbled back down on the bed. Oh well, they would go away sooner or later.

But the tapping didn't stop. The person tried the door handle and, much to both of their surprise, it opened with a creak. "Lyserg?" Millie's voice resounded in the hallway.

He tried to look at her. He tried to answer. But the words were stuck in his throat and his neck felt numb. Using only sheer and stubborn will, Lyserg got up again, in perhaps one last effort to reach for the living, and tumbled down on the ground.

The commotion, however, was enough to encourage Millie to venture further in his quarters. She busted into his room, her crossbow in one hand, fully expecting to find some enemy attacking her friend, but when she saw him lying helpless on the ground, dropped her weapon and rushed to his side.

He was numb. Of course, he hadn't moved in one week. His body had paralyzed totally. And if that wasn't the worst of it, he couldn't tell Millie what had happened to him. She would probably panic and scream and…

His brain was so filled with anxiety that he didn't notice her forcing him to sit up against the nearby wall and force some water down his throat. Lyserg blinked, when his body recognized the liquid, and suddenly tried to take longer, thirsty gulps.

"Wait!" she exclaimed "Go easier, you'll choke." Millie pulled the glass from his mouth "Are you better?"

Lyserg took a deep breath and felt some blood circulating in his head for the first time since he woke up this morning. "Yeah. I think so."

"Here." She offered her shoulder to him and helped him sit on the bed "You're still not strong enough to walk."

"Yeah." He felt needles pierce his arms and legs. That was definitely a good sign, though..."Why did you come here?"

"Ruy said you weren't eating and going out and I got worried." Millie looked around, hands on her hips "Honesty, what have you been doing here? This place reeks."

Lyserg looked around his room, only to find that she had been right. Of course-he hadn't taken care of himself, let alone his belongings. He was surprised there weren't any spider webs hanging around. Millie didn't bother to ask him anything more, she went straight to the windows and opened them to let in some of the warm summer afternoon.

He flinched at the unexpected change, but soon his eyes got accustomed to the orange hew spreading in the room, and listened to the sounds of people from down the street. The air filled with the scent of flowers and food getting cooked, the sounds of children playing and adults arguing, and the occasional program on the radio from the restaurant downstairs. Lyserg followed Millie with his eyes as she quickly gathered the dirty clothes from the ground and sent them down the laundry shoot, then helped him eat the lukewarm soup she had brought. It needed salt, lots of salt…but it felt nice.

Slowly, he gained some feel into his limbs and stretched.

"Better?" she enquired

"Much better." He nodded "Thank you."

"You wouldn't have to be thanking me if you took care for yourself. Honestly…" she crossed her arms in front of her chest "I'll tell Ruy what have you been doing and make him force food down your throat. We'll see how you'll do if you spend a week on sushi!"

Lyserg laughed, a true, loud and happy laugh, but then misery crashed down on him, remind him just why had he neglected himself like this. He looked at Millie, another person he had mistreated in the past. Gods, she was probably the one that he had hurt the most. She had loved him…he didn't have the nerve to imagine that she could love him still…and he had kicked her away like some trash. And for what? For some idea that power defines the person?

Stupid-their great source of power had failed them. Hao had crushed them like bugs in his path. How exactly was he any better than any common scum? Sure, he couldn't have known, but he didn't have to be so mean to her. She had every right to kill him!

Millie saw his head drop agonizingly and blinked in confusion-hadn't he been just laughing. Reaching out, she touched his cheek to check if he wasn't feverish. Lyserg's eyes zapped up and drilled into hers, making her back down a little, but they didn't startle her enough to intimidate her fully. She had seen worse. "What is it?"

"You…" he mumbled "You shouldn't have come."

"How so?" now she was confused

"You…you hate me…or at least you should…you have to hate me…I was so mean to you…I kicked you away…I'm a terrible person."

Millie had to lean in to hear what he said, and a couple of minutes later she managed to capture some words from his babble to understand at least some idea of what he meant.

"Are you referring to that episode with Boris? The one with the church?" she asked, frowning over the fact that he should be mentioning something that happened so long ago. Lyserg just nodded miserably and slumped his shoulders forward, waiting for the axe to fall. But nothing occurred. Instead, Millie kept frowning "Why?"

"Huh?" he looked up at her "What?"

"You heard me. Why are you talking about something that happened so long ago?"

He stared in shock. Had it really been that long ago? He personally remembered every detail from that day. The ghost, haunting his body. His teeth, piercing Yoh-kun's neck. Yoh, standing up to defend Boris. The X-laws, their Holy angels and promises. The feeling of inadequacy, of weakness…the anger that somebody who dared call himself his FRIEND would be siding with a minion of the person that KILLED his parents…And Millie, clinging onto him, trying to hold him back…He should've turned his back on the X-laws then and there, when he saw her lying on the ground, hurt, bleeding, trying to stop him with her last strength….

Had it really been that long ago?

"I hurt you…" Lyserg began "And with no good reason too."

"But it's been ages since then!" she exclaimed "Everything's changed. Besides, you're not like that anymore. You have better goals in life, and you see more clearly."

"No." he shook his head furiously, grabbing onto her shoulders "Millie, it's not like that. I'm the same blind dolt as I was before. Hao…his death brought no consolation. Everything's the same. I don't feel any better. And the X-laws turned out to be just a bunch of over-reactive fanatics. They made me turn on my best friends! They made me hurt them! And for what?!" for the first time, he actually felt angry at Jeanne. And he never imagined feeling this way. "I'm a scoundrel! I can't believe you're still talking to me! I hurt you! Just like I hurt everybody else!"

"Lyserg! Lyserg!" she slapped him, causing him to snap back "Is that why you're starving yourself like that? Because you think you don't deserve your friend's kindness? No, listen to me, mister…" she napped when he tried to object and raised a finger "They genuinely care for you! They are worried about your well-being, and if there isn't the slightest doubt about it because they would've let you rot away in that ghastly church if they didn't. And Ruy DEFINITELY wouldn't have been telling the whole world he was worried that you were making yourself sick if he wasn't your friend, Lyserg! You should know that better than anyone else!"

"What about you?" he asked, staring deep into her eyes. "Didn't you think I deserve to be punished? I hurt you because I thought the X-laws were right, and that you were too weak, yet when the final battle came, we were no better than anyone else. Don't you think I should be humbled? That I should suffer?"

Millie sighed and pouted. Lyserg was surprised-the apparently childish gesture had an amazing effect on her eyes-they were deep, pensive, strangely….mature. What was that? Then she said:

"Ok, so I was sad at first. And a bit…angry. You didn't have the right to kick me like that, and it certainly wasn't painless...And I'm not just mimicking Lilly here. But then again, who was I to stop you? If you're castigating yourself because of your poor judgment, then how better was mine? All I wanted was to keep you somewhere I could find you." She smiled "I was only selfish. I couldn't convince you that the X-laws were really bad or that they are wrong, because there wasn't a way to. And let's face it-who am I to influence you."

Lyserg blinked-maybe the only truly normal thing to do all day-and then asked:

"Are you saying that…there's no way that I couldn't like you?"

"Is there?" she looked at him in disbelief

"Of course there is! There has always been…" Lyserg froze and closed his mouth, opened it, then closed it again "Listen, do you want to go out?"

"Well, it would be nice, this room is stuffy." She laughed "Where?"

"Anywhere? Preferably where dates happen. We should go on a date…" he said in a decided manner "Right now too…I owe you this…and we should get things straight between us."

"Really?" Millie beamed. She looked as if Christmas had come early this year. Then she giggled "Though you may want to change."

"Huh?" he blinked and looked down at his body. Noticing that he was still wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a sweat-shirt, Lyserg flushed, remembering full well that his appearance wasn't quite the gentlemanly look ladies expected on a date "Then…" he drawled "Can I please have my five minutes to be human?"

"Go ahead." She urged him, sitting back comfortably.

* * *

Lyserg jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom, washed his face, changed clothes, combed his hair and brushed his teeth (there's nothing more revolting on a first date than bad breath). When he exited the bathroom, he discovered (but with little dissatisfaction) that Millie had used the pause to make his bed and throw the dirty socks in the laundry shoot with the other things. She turned and offered him a smile, something that he never thought he'd see again in his life.

"Thanks for waiting." He said, returning her smile "And…for tidying up for me. You really shouldn't have."

"I know." She grinned, moving past him to wash her hands in the bathroom "But you know, Sharona really hates it when we make a mess, and it rubs off. Besides, you can't have dirty clothes lying around your room-what if you contract some unknown disease and even the priests can't save you. It would be a real shame, surviving…so much, just to perish to a modified cold or something."

Millie walked up to him, flexing her hands carelessly. "So…are we going out now?"

"Yes. Of course." He smiled down at her. Then, remembering something from the old movies he had seen as a child, he offered her his hand to lean on.

"Lyserg, you really shouldn't do this just because you feel you have to." Millie said as they were strolling around the outskirts of Patch, careless like teenagers. Or at least, she was careless-Lyserg, on the other hand, was getting really confused with the line of identical buildings and never ending souvenir stores. He wondered if he'd need to buy one ridiculously expensive map to find his way back to his lodgings, but hell, he wasn't stupid enough to tell Millie that.

"I…really don't mind. I need to get out. You're right, Millie…" he turned to look at her "I've been acting stupid. I shouldn't have worried my friends like that."

"That's the spirit." She cheered him on.

Their afternoon walk soon dragged them to the very border of the village, close to the fighting zones. It was too late for matches, so there weren't any people around, and the air was blissfully sound-less. The sun seemed to be considering duck, drawing slowly to the west, and with it-the cloudless blue of the sky. It seemed like the entire universe around them had turned into a pastel mixture of yellow, red, maze, orange, and occasionally dark, almost black blue. If you wanted to imagine Herbert's "Dune" at dawn, when they gathered the little hew there was, it was the perfect way to start. Or, if you were feeling more gastronomically predisposed, if you turned your head a little, you'd get the feeling you've fallen into a pot full of caramel.

"Let's go there." Lyserg suggested, noticing a nice hill from where they could get a good vintage point for the desert sunset. Millie hesitated-he hadn't been out a lot lately, and this sudden over-encumbrance would surely take its tool out of him. Not to mention that they were getting too far from the buildings. A true western American child, Millie had learned that the nights in the summer was harsh and cold, and that sudden storms weren't out of the question. If they got stuck out there, there was no telling what might happen. Lyserg, who was adept with the always-migraine British weather couldn't know that. "Come on!" he called.

Then again, she had been dreaming on going out on a date with him, so why not?

* * *

The view was spectacular, Lyserg thought as he watched the kaleidoscope of warm colors swirl around him. In the church, where the X-laws had resided, he had never witnessed such a display of beauty. Then again, they had never had time for such petty things.

Millie sat down next to him, trying to enjoy the same show, enjoy the fact that he was enjoying, and most of all-be euphoric that one of her biggest dreams had turned true (well, not exactly, but there were a few things that a girl like her could dream about and a date with Lyserg had been the only one remotely possible). She had imagined this very clearly, just like most girls who are in love do, that one day the object of their desires might open his eyes to the simple truth that their only one had been right there in front of them, and all they had to do is reach out and tell them how they felt. Surprisingly, the date so far had covered the basic standards of a dream first date, yet Millie couldn't somehow bring herself to be…happy.

Which was, in a way, very uncharacteristic of her. Sure, life had been tough on her and her friends, but she usually maintained a very sunny attitude. It was the best way to stop yourself from going nuts, after all. Now, however, she felt weary. Everything around her hummed 'everything's fine, you're safe, no harm can come across you', and with Lyserg by her side, there was really nothing that could happen, yet there was a tightening feeling in her chest that something was about to happen, and she hadn't felt this way since…well, since she last ran away from home.

And since she had a good experience with running away from home, she decided that they should go back. They could watch the sunset from a rooftop somewhere. The view wouldn't run away.

She turned to him with the intention of suggesting their moving to a more comfortable place, but she stopped to contemplate his calm expression. How long had it been since he was so relaxed? Definitely a while. Should she be spoiling it for him? Simple pleasures are sometimes the best in life, and he didn't deserve something like this happening to him…but the feeling of anxiety hadn't gotten out of her, and she knew better than to ignore it.

Millie was just about to say that she was feeling dizzy from the sun to get him moving, but then froze when she saw a bright light flying straight at them.

Apparently, Lyserg had sensed SOMETHING as well, because he jumped from his sitting position, wrapped his arms around her and pushed her on the ground, avoiding the shot in a hair's breath. There was a small explosion behind them when the furioku-charged medium hit the dune behind them. There was a small struggle before they scrambled on their feet, and by that time three more shots were aiming for their heads.

Surprisingly, Millie knew better than to play damsel in distress and ducked behind the edge of the hill, and Lyserg followed her lead, while unfastening his sleeve to get his pendulum out. The rough rocks dug into his skin through the old fabric of his trousers, but he didn't bother. There were a few more explosions, but whoever was shooting was probably not aiming well enough, because none of them hurt them.

"Are we playing 'Hide and seek' here?" Somebody asked half-teasingly, half-menacingly. Lyserg managed to hold himself up just enough to see Kana and Machi from the Hanagumi walking through the dunes to the place where they had just stood. "Come out, come out, wherever you are?" the blue-haired woman called, her voice filled with venom "We won't hurt you…much…"

Of course, anyone who had had the luck to fight the Hanagumi and live knew that talking was only going to get you one limb less….or more. Lyserg focused his furioku and got Morphine into the crystal, and seconds later the pendulum was flying, drawing a complicated shape in the sky and aiming to get the two shamans from behind. Machi, however, was faster and beat it off.

"Losing your touch, green boy?" she asked, laughingly.

"Just getting started." Lyserg murmured, but before he could answer, Ashcroft pierced the ground just a little above his head and he had to drop off to run.

For his luck, Millie switched hiding places as quickly as he did, energetically, and soundless like a mouse. He didn't even see her breathe. Which was good-if she panicked and screamed, she would've gotten them both into trouble. She really isn't a deadweight, Lyserg thought as she brought Onibi out and shot between the Machi and Kana, distracting them for a moment from his pendulum. He didn't wait for them to realize and attacked again, trying to beat Machi's medium out of her hands. Jack, however, had another thing on this pumpkin mind and counter attacked, knocking his pendulum out.

"Honestly…" Machi drawled, before jumping on a higher rock and spotting the dowser in the dirt "You really are useless. What's the matter? Not so tough without your Jeanne-sama?"

"What about you?" Lyserg answered, getting on his feet. With his periphery vision, he noticed that Millie had slipped out of sight, or at least out of Machi's eyeshot. Thank God-if he worried about her all the time, he'd be dead by now. "You seem to be missing someone."

"Damn you…" Machi hissed "We'll make all of you pay! You corrupted Marion! You took her away from us!"

"She made a choice…" Lyserg answered, trying to add some certitude to his voice. He had seen the youngest member of the Hanagumi with Yoh's gang when he had returned and he had listened to some harp-hazard explanations on how she had changed and wanted to be on their side…too bad he hadn't paid much attention.

"You brainwashed her!" Machi screamed hysterically, her entire body shaking "That damn Yoh corrupted her! She never wanted to come."

She hadn't tried to kill him so far, which was more than enough reassurance for him. Lyserg breathed in and tried to focus, calling all of his self-control. He knew they were being watched, almost ever since they got out of the taller buildings, but it was a good thing they were in the desert-Machi seemed out of her mind with rage, and a closer inspection of her looks clearly suggested that she was drunk. And a drunk and angry female is the combination men are genetically encoded since birth to avoid. Kana seemed more on the sober side, but there was a dark gleam in her eyes, giving out her killing intent. The dowser quickly analyzed the situation-there were no civilians to get hurt, but there was nobody to get help either. The priests wouldn't notice the commotion until it was too late, and by the time anyone who could handle Machi and Kana arrived, he and Millie would be long dead.

The only chance, he decided, making a corny but bold decision, was to take both of them on, giving Millie the chance to get some help. After all, he was miserable and guilt-struck, but he knew that he couldn't defeat both of them, not with so little control over his own powers.

He hoped Millie had also come to that conclusion and focused all his energy in Morphine, trying to form the Big Ben Blitz…only to discover that Machi had closed the distance between them, throwing a pretty strong punch. Lyserg flew to the ground, completely defenseless. A second later, he bit the dust.

The dowser wasn't the type to be bullied around. When he was young, and his relatives sent him to a border school in the vain hopes of squashing his ideas to avenge his parents, he had fought a lot. Children were mean no matter what, and he usually got picked at. Still, he didn't get through that period lying around.

But before he could jump on his legs, Machi was on top of him, one leg pressing down his gut, and Jack holding a blade to his throat. A millisecond later there was some rumbling and Ashcroft caught Millie. The armored knight pressed the girl to the ground, while Kana approached the little girl.

"Leave her alone." He breathed "She's not even with Yoh."

"She's with you." Kana said, cupping Millie's chin "Maybe we can have some fun with her once we finish with you."

Lyserg struggled, but Jack pressed his blade closer to his throat. His breath hitched. Damn!

Machi laughed wickedly and knelt down to press her finger to Lyserg's cheek. Her broken nails felt as if they'd tear off his skin, but he bit his lips and didn't scream. He felt that the hand with the pendulum was still free. The dowser narrowed his eyes as Machi leaned in to lick his neck and tried to ignore the feeling of disgust that spread all over his body. His oversoul was still there-if he aimed correctly, he could take out one of the girls, or at least slow them down. Lyserg closed his eyes, consentrated, made a quick prayer that this would work, and fired the crystal pendulum…

Straight at Kana. The blue-haired woman was too busy torturing Millie to notice until it was too late-the crystal managed to slash her right wrist, straight through the nerves and tendons. She screamed, her cigarette fell off her mouth, and fell back, while not a small quantity of her blood gushed out and sprayed all over Ashcroft's armor and Millie's face.

"You…You bastard!" she screamed, grabbing her injured limb and gazed straight at him "I'll get you for this."

Machi just looked down at Lyserg, rage all over her impish little face, and slapped him so hard his teeth clacked. "You idiot! Why the hell did you do that for?!"

Ashcroft was still crushing Millie to the ground, pulling her head up by the hair. The girl's eyes were filled with tears and her teeth were tightly clenched as she fought the pain and fear, but Kana wouldn't be using her arm to control her guardian ghost, which was, in a way, good.

"If you thought that brat would go and get you some help, you're damn wrong!" Kana screamed, jumping on her legs and clenching her fists. Her furioku filled the air around her like an angry mist, thick and dense like cotton candy. Lyserg could see Millie's lips moving soundlessly, as she couldn't even cry, and a few small tears rolling down her cheeks. He struggled again, only this time Machi wasn't giving him a chance to fight back.

Her foot stomped down on his arm, dislocating a bone and cutting off all sensitivity from elbow down. His fingers gripped weakly around his pendulum before falling limply, but the ginger-haired female had a lot more from where that came from. Her other leg shot out, kicked him in the gut, and then a hand balled into a fist collided with his cheek. In the background, there was a rusty creek as Ashcroft started twisting and pulling at Millie's head. Lyserg saw the tears running down her cheeks, mixing with Kana's blood, the girl's tightly closed mouth and body shaking in a desperate struggle against the torture, but he knew that they had no chance. Where were those priests when you needed them?!

All the while, Machi kept mauling him like a hammer, shooting obscenities. And she wasn't showing signs of fatigue. "YOU DAMN LITTLE WHIMP! I'LL CRUSH YOU! I'LL TURN YOU INTO A PILE OF NOTHING! I'LL TEACH YOU AND YOUR YOH-SAMA THAT WE'RE NOT TO BE TRIFILED WITH! I'LL SEND YOUR WHOLE DAMN GROUP TO HELL AND I'LL FOLLOW YOU TO MAKE SURE EVERY DAMN DEMON HAS HIS WAY WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE PRECK!"

Lyserg tried to stay calm. He tried to hold back the pain. The panic. But it was no use. He was useless. He had failed to protect not only him, but Millie as well. The shock from the pain was nothing compared to the anguish he experienced upon imagining the people finding their disfigured corpses in the morning, Yoh and his gang, Millie's friends, all of them looking. He pictured Ellie crying and hugging her younger sister's body while Sharona cursed him to the deepest pits of hell, and it was going to be his fault, all of his damn fault! If Machi and Kana felt merciful, they'd kill them both quickly. Lyserg couldn't hold on any longer, opened his mouth and screamed in agony.

Millie's lips opened for the first time, her eyes widened and she shrieked: "LYSERG!" before suddenly, a small explosion erupted around them and filled the air with foul smoke.

"What the…" Machi stared. Taken off guard, she had stopped using Lyserg as a punch bag, and even the dowser was too shocked to move or scream. Kana coughed some dust out, scrambled on her legs and tried to summon Ashcroft…only that no such response came. The cloud of black dust swirled around the spot where the knight had been torturing Millie and it didn't look like it would dissipate too soon.

Then, with a clank louder than anything Lyserg had ever heard in his life, his helmet flew out of the shadows, as if kicked by someone, and then somebody said:

"You really oughtn't call upon demons. You don't know whether they might choose to answer you." A shape formed, and a second later a body came in the dying light of the sun.

The woman standing not ten feet from Kana looked like a complete stranger. The light wasn't good enough for Lyserg to make out her features completely, but there were two things that stood out immediately: The swirling dark of her eyes, and the fact that she was wearing a dress that was probably ten times smaller.

His eyes widened with shock as he recognized the pattern: "Mil…"

Kana screamed and oversoulded Ashcroft back into his form, but before she could attack, the girl had already disappeared out of sight. Lyserg's gaze became a blur as he saw a flash of red before Machi was knocked off him. Jack tried to pierce his throat, but the girl, obviously Millie, didn't give it enough time. A long, white hand stretched out with the speed of light, slender, strong fingers squeezed the pumpkin and kept squeezing until the ghost left the overly small medium.

Machi and Kana stood up, both glaring at the newcomer, both very, very pissed off. Millie, however, didn't even flinch. Her hands came up around the doll she was still holding and tore it in two, before throwing him off. She looked down at Lyserg for a minute, studying his wounds.

"Can you use Morphine on the other hand?" she asked. Her voice was very different, Lyserg thought suddenly, as he nodded and she bent down to help him change the small device on his hands. It was softer and clearer, but a bit hoarse and quiet, as if screaming had devastated her vocal cords. Meanwhile, Machi and Kana charged with angry battle cries, mixing their furioku together to get Ashcroft to kill both Millie and Lyserg in one blow.

The girl only threw a glance over her shoulder, then brought a hand up and murmured a few words. There was an electric spark in the air, just before they were both closed into a small sphere of light. Ashcroft's spear jumped off its surface, but that didn't stop he berserk girls from continuing their assault. Millie looked at Lyserg: "When Ashcroft falls apart, tie them up." Then she disappeared again.

* * *

"Easy now." Millie mumbled "Just a few more meters. There we are."

Lyserg collapsed, panting on the bed. Millie helped him lie down better, then took his cut and stained shirt off. The dowser closed his eyes. He couldn't do anything anymore. He was too tired. Maybe if he pinched himself he'd wake up from a nightmare.

But to his surprise, the next thing he felt was a cold towel running down his face. He opened his eyes and saw that Millie had taken out his first aid kit and was making a compress for him. Then she put another towel on the bed, placed his injured arm on it and carefully pressed around the dislocated joint.

"Turn your eyes and count to ten." She ordered, without looking at him. Her lips were tightly shut, her face frozen in a concentrated, controlled mask, as if she was afraid to ruin something. Lyserg complied, and when he reached five, there was a sharp push, a surge of pain, and then…well, he could feel his hand again. The green-haired boy turned around to look at his savior better. She had taken out some painkillers from the kit and was filling a glass of water.

"Thank you…" he said, sitting up with some difficulty and accepting the medicine from her, but his eyes followed her around wearily. What was she? He couldn't believe that Millie, sweet, innocent and totally harmless Millie, could take on two of the Hanagumi without even breaking a sweat...He remembered how Ren had reacted when Yoh first offered him to be a part of their group. The Chinese shaman had been more than reluctant, and the means some of their adversaries used to win were far from noble. They had left the Hanagumi tied up in the desert for the priests to find (which, given the amount of explosions, would be soon), and she had carried him out of the battlefield. But now….Would Millie try and kill him for what he had done? Not that he wouldn't deserve it, but it didn't make any sense.

But if she wanted to kill him, running around and healing him while she wore a garment that wasn't meant for her didn't make sense either.

"Careful." She warned him and pulled the glass away before he choke. When she did so, he noticed it-two little, sharp, arched fangs showing from underneath her upper lip. He felt his throat going dry.

Millie, as well, seemed to have noticed his change of behavior, because she hurried to explain:

"Don't worry. If I wanted to drain your blood, I'd have done it by now."

Lyserg opened his mouth, but no sound left it. The words just seemed to die out before they've reached his lips. Millie, misinterpreting his silence for fear, sighed. Of course, he had seen her-he was bound to be afraid. He was bound to hate her. She didn't want him to hate her. He had been so relaxed when he first met her, imagining that she was totally harmless…and for a while, she had actually believed that too.

She wanted to feel like that again…she wanted him to feel safe around her again. But she realized that it was impossible-what ever could she tell him to make him forget what he saw? Not bearing the thought of him hating her again, she got on her feet. "I'll go. I'm sorry."

Suddenly, his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. His hold was still weak, but somehow managed to convey the message-he wanted her to stay.

Millie looked at him for a couple of seconds, then slowly took his hand in hers and gently ran her fingers on his palm. "You really…don't hate me, do you?"

"No." he managed to croak out "I don't. I couldn't."

"But you're afraid." She shook her head "I can sense it. You think I'm a threat."

"No…not a threat…but…" he sighed "It's…so surreal. I've never imagined you…being like this."

"It's a…long story." She drawled, looking away "I shouldn't be burdening you with it." Lyserg squeezed her hand harder, urging her wordlessly to speak. They had the time, he thought. Millie looked at him for a while, then sighed. "It was the blood. I tried not to smell it or taste it, but…" she shuddered "It was too much. And the thing is…it hit me right in the head. I couldn't stop the transformation."

"Yeah, but…" he blinked "It's not…Umm…what led to that?"

"Well…" Millie sat more comfortably "If you don't drink for a long time, your body weakens and begins to take a more…comfortable form. The one you see me in is my original form…the one in which I was transformed. But since I refrain from…ugh…drinking blood unless it's terribly necessary…I'm usually stuck into that one. Kana's blood caught me off guard. I usually don't get this…uncontrollable."

She sighed. "You must think I'm nuts, right?"

"No, not at all…" actually, he was strangely fascinated. After the initial shock wore off, Lyserg began thinking up a thousand different questions. Why had she transformed so briskly? What had happened to her to turn her into what she was? She was definitely different than any vampire he had read about. He remembered their only encounter with a shaman-vampire-Millie wasn't even remotely like Boris. The mentioning of Hao's slave brought back the memory of the episode in the church and she shuddered-he really deserved to die. But then he looked back at the girl, sitting on his bed. If she needed to drink blood like other vampires, why had Kana's blood caught her off guard? Why had she been denying herself what she needed to survive? If she had enough power to take on single-handedly the two Hanagumi, she was more than capable of securing it to herself. "Millie…why didn't you drink blood."

At that point, she laughed. Out loud and hard. Lyserg stared at her, mesmerized by the sharp gleam of her teeth and eyes, and then heard her say: "Honestly, Lyserg, why do you think I didn't drink any? When people hear about vampires, they start prosecuting them. Like the witch hunts. Most of the women they burned and drowned and hung were midwifes, but fanatics don't care, and people were more or less drawn by the show, and not by the whole righteousness of the act. Besides…it's a lot more complicated than that."

"Do…the other Ly's know." He gulped. Millie's friends didn't maintain the same forms, so they were likely to be human…unless they fed more regularly.

"Yeah…" Millie red him like a book "They're the same as me, but they have…different circumstances. They haven't fed for several months now, just like me, but they don't have the same…restrictions."

"Restrictions?" The dowser blinked "Such as?"

Millie sighed. "Well, you know how some people have foods they adore and foods they cannot possibly eat? Like…if they give you green peas, and you really don't want to be ungrateful, you try and eat, but you just want to puke them out…Well, that's almost the same as with people's blood. Their emotions give it a different taste. Like happiness and sadness. If those people have the emotion that draws you to them, only the smell of their blood can be enough to satisfy your thirst for weeks ahead. For Ellie, it's lust. For Lilly, the person must be jealous of her. For Sharona, he has to trust her, and for Sally, it's his blood thirst. For them, it's easier to procure the…scent to satisfy them, because, well…you meet angry, jealous, and lustful people all around, as well as those naïve enough to trust you. But for me, the person must adore me. Like…love. And people who love are…not so easy to find."

Lyserg stared at her…yet again. He remembered the strange feeling of attachment Ruy held for Millie. Interesting, if she wanted to drink his blood…

He eyed her. Millie gave him a small smile, reading his thoughts again: "Look, none of us would hurt anyone. We believe that we owe Yoh a lot. We wouldn't be paying him back nicely by hurting anyone of his friends. And since he's helped almost everyone in Patch, the village is off limits for us. Besides, there are certain…circumstances that come with the drinking of the blood, which make its consummation wholly…impossible to hide."

And since the look on Lyserg's face told her the dowser still couldn't grasp what she was talking about, Millie breathed out: "To drink a person's blood, we have to bring him to the brick of ecstasy. That's the only time when it's…good enough to satisfy us."

Lyserg blanched. "But you took Kana's blood and…"

"And transformed." Millie got up "Which is, by the way, terribly uncomfortable. But it didn't satisfy me. Some vampires drink blood from whomever they choose and however they choose, no matter if the person's consenting or not. That's how the myth of bad vampires was created. Usually, the killing spree draws attention and people won't rest until they've killed the perpetrator. But if you drink the blood from a person that answers your tastes, and in a moment when you're excited beyond reason…then that blood can satisfy you for months ahead, a year if you're greedy and took more than a few drops. Trust me…" she smiled "The girls and I wouldn't dare draw attention to us here. People start noticing anemic folks and strange chicks. And people don't hesitate to pick up pitch forks and torches and gather an angry mob to throw a stake though your entire digestive system." She snorted "And they say they outgrew these prejudices!"

"It's hardly prejudices…" Lyserg began, but shut his mouth when he realized what he was saying.

_What are you saying?_ Another voice called in his head. _Are you actually suggesting that monsters like Boris deserve to walk the earth? Hao was just like him, a leach that grew too big. Are you seriously trying to defend them? _

Lyserg shook his head, feeling a bit too sick to think straight. He was probably delirious.

_Oh, you're far from delirious_, his trail of thought ran. _The shaman tournament is FAR from over, and you can't be sure what's on that girl's mind. If she's powerful enough to defend you, she can stand to fight you. Are you honestly believing that shit that vampires are all nice and civilized and that there are some bad seeds? Life should've taught you to know better._

The dowser closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. Unfortunately, his stomach had a mind of its own and…

"Oh God!" he gasped, a hand flying to his mouth, and five seconds later he vomited.

* * *

"Don't worry, at least the worst passed." Millie said, wiping his sweaty bangs from his head and helped him sit down on the bathroom floor. Lyserg rested his head on the cold tiles and breathed for a minute.

"I'm sorry about your dress…" he mumbled in a minute or so "I couldn't stop it."

"Never mind." She sighed "I can't go back to the quarters until I return to my normal form anyway. I can wash it and wait for it to dry, if you don't mind."

"No, go ahead." The little voice of reason called out again, but Lyserg shushed it. If she wanted to kill me, he mused, she'd have done so ages ago, instead of throwing dirt in his eyes. There was no point otherwise.

He scrambled on his legs and washed his face and mouth with cold water, allowing the feeling to drench him completely. When he entered his room and sat down on the bed, he could think of little but the sick feeling roaming through his body. But soon something else caught his attention.

Millie stripping, to be exact.

He had wondered for a while about that dress she wore. It looked too childish, even for her, and it was ugly enough to give someone with the faintest fashion sense a heart attack. Lyserg couldn't understand why Ellie, who was so overprotective of her sister would allow her to wear something as formless and uncomfortable as that, but now that he gave it a closer look, he noticed the fabric was some sort of elastic that wrapped around the new curves of her body without ripping apart. Sure, it wasn't very fashionable, but it covered her breasts, belly and buttocks enough to keep it decent. Millie noticed his gaze as she was undoing the collar and let out a weak smile:

"I usually don't lose control so easily, but I got tired from ripping my clothes apart whenever somebody got a bad nosebleed."

"I can imagine." Lyserg walked up to the drawers and started digging through them "Would you like some chocolate? I think I threw a bar here somewhere."

"That would be nice." Millie said from the bathroom, amidst the sound of streaming water. A couple of seconds later, he found the chocolate, split it in two and left a half of it on the table for her.

The shock had taken a lot of time to sink in, the dowser thought as he ate the bar a bit too quickly. He had undergone a lot of physical pressure, a lot of mental harassment…Sure, he knew painfully well that he had been nearly raped by the two crazy Hanagumi, and that Millie had nearly been killed, but now he had the time to realize it.

He shuddered a little and quickly changed into his usual attire for the night-an under-vest and a pair of loose shorts. The cool air cleared his head a bit and the chocolate warmed him up enough to get some sort of liveliness into him. Meanwhile, Millie came out of the bathroom and threw the washed dress over a chair, spreading it out so that it would dry up faster.

"How long does it take for the transformation to wear off?" Lyserg asked her, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"Oh, not much…" she mused "Not with so little…well, it shouldn't take more than a few hours. But frankly, if I came back home looking like this, they'd kill me for sure."

Wordlessly, he handed her the chocolate bar, and while she chewed on the dark substance absent-mindedly, he searched through his suitcase for some larger shirt for her.

Under the dress, she was wearing a pair panties and under vest, as well as an elastic sport's bra, all in a matching violet color. Like all the clothes, they were just about something a girl who was still not aware of the term 'fashion sense' would pick, but they were made to withstand a sudden…alteration. The irony here wasn't quite lost to him, the dowser acknowledged as he dug through shirts and pants, because, quite truthfully, he had never thought about Millie as…well, sexy.

Actually, Lyserg had never considered a woman sexy. Girls like Meene, Jun and his mother were beautiful, Jeanne and Tamao held an innocent charm, and Anna was…well, brutishly righteous, but none of them could be qualified as sexy. He remembered the time when he had seen Millie for the first time-she was a cute, sweet girl, and back then he had responded to her puppy-like love with condescending (but blunt) smiles, and the hopes that she finds somebody who deserved her better.

How dumb was that? "Find somebody who deserves her better…" blah, blah! He'd never be able to think that again, and if he managed to suppress the memory of her modest, but quite beautiful forms, he'd never forget that he was the one sneaking peaks at her while she oh-so-casually ate chocolate in his room.

Well, it wasn't like his own sexuality had ever been a subject of thought for him. Those years he spend training for the tournament and preparing for the battle with Hao had passed in a blur, as if he had been sleeping all the time and had woken up in a different reality, in a different body. The changes during puberty hadn't been noticed much. Sex wasn't a big deal, or at least-not like it was for some other people. Masturbation had been nothing more than a quick, clean way to deal with the sudden urges in order to clear the thought and focus on the important issues at hand. He didn't even remember the last time he had stooped to that-ever since he joined Yoh's gang, things had been going on very quickly, and the X-laws had been like…well, priests, in a way. Or at least that's the way Marco ran things-his passion to defeat Hao was overshadowing even Jeanne's with its passion and fire. The goal was all he ever looked out for, and apparently, it blinded him for too many obvious things.

Like Meene, per instance. Lyserg shuddered. Perhaps of all the X-laws, she had been the closest to him. A friend, a confessor…even a lover, even if it had been for just one night. He remembered it like a distant dream-hazily, weakly. She had come to him the night before Jeanne trusted him with an Archangel, right before they opened the gate of Babylon. They had both been scared, anticipant…he had just let go of his guardian ghost, his only souvenir from him father, and she…she had been in love with Marco, but he never gave her a second look. She didn't want to die yet…she wanted to live...but she had to stand and fight Hao…so she sought solace in the arms of another, craving warmth, but seeking it from a person who had none of his own. Everything had been quick, suffocated by the darkness, a quiet struggle of muffled moans and words of love without meaning. In the morning, she had already left, and she acted like nothing had happened. Sometimes, he wondered if he had dreamt that up.

Lyserg handed Millie an old shirt and went to sit down again, avoiding her eyes. He had heard that vampires could read minds, but with all she had told him already, he couldn't be sure what part of the myths was true. Bram Stoker made Dracula look like a devil, while Ann Rice's vampires were more sensual, more…appealing. He could testify about the latter, though-it took all his mental power not to stare at Millie. He wasn't some lolicon pervert, damn in! He wasn't even remotely perverse. Ask anyone who knew him. But now…he was going to have trouble sleeping for weeks!

Well, at least he was starting to feel more like himself, he though sarcastically as he rubbed his forehead. The dizziness and sleepiness from the last days were finally evaporating and his head didn't hurt. Meanwhile, Millie shivered.

"Are you alright?" he looked up at her, alert.

"Yeah, it's just…" she shuddered again "The transformation wasn't very nice. It gives me the chills for a while."

"OH! Why haven't you said so?" he asked, getting a blanket from the bed and wrapping it around her shoulders "Come sit here. Do you want me to make some tea or…"

"No, it's fine…It wouldn't work anyway." She sighed "There's only one thing that could ease it off and I can't ask that from you." Eager to change the subject, she looked up at him "Are you feeling better?"

"Like new." Lyserg breathed, sitting down next to her on the mat. "I really don't feel anything anymore. Maybe a little dizzy, but that's all."

"That's good to hear." She said, sitting on her knees "I'm glad to hear it."

"So…" he drawled "If you're that strong, why haven't you done better in the Shaman fights?"

"Because it didn't serve our purpose well." She shrugged "Playing damsels in distress is easier than keeping up with a rough and tough image. Besides, people would pick more fights with us, and while we're not unaccustomed to seeing blood, we can lose it, and that's…not good."

"But if you truly need so little to survive, why starve yourselves when you can get whatever you want without harming anyone?"

"Well…" Millie looked at the wall "…it's not that simple. Well….it is in some ways, but in others, it's not. Getting what we want out of people always causes commotion. And biting hard enough to draw blood, then licking it off is not a fetish guys prefer to hide."

"Yeah, but…what if you explain to the person your circumstances, like you did with me?" He persisted stubbornly "Surely, then…" he stopped when he heard her laugh out loud.

"Explain? Circumstances? You make it look like the purchase of a car, Lyserg." She said in amusement.

"You can't tell me it's never happened before. Humans can co-exist with many species."

"As long as they're not outranking them in the food chain. You should watch Godzilla more." Millie said "And yes, there have been cases where it's happened, but that's rare. Even if you do start a relationship with a person with all cards on the table, it's still too dangerous. He knows your secret, and even if he's loyal to you while you're still together, when it ends, nothing stops him from telling people."

Lyserg thought about it for a minute. "Why does it have to end?"

"Because it's sex. It has to end sooner or later, no matter how good it is." She shook her head. The dowser stared at her, still trying to figure out the feelings that he experienced. She was so much like the person he knew, and so different. Her eyes were the same, yet everything else was like a grown woman's, even her mind. Now that she discarded the bows and the dress, there was hardly anything about her that he could associate to her younger form. Sure, she was still petite, but his nose almost touched her chin when they stood one against the other and the features of her face were much sharper, much more mature than those of her…well, chibi form.

"But….surely if people compromise and talk, a relationship may last."

"You seriously don't get it?" she looked at him "This isn't your ordinary human relationship. Besides, if the feelings change, the guy's blood loses its quality as well and then it'll definitely end. Then, you'll either have to erase his memory, causing irreversible damage, or go berserk and get impaled on a stake."

"But then would it actually be any better if you never tried? Yes, it might end in sadness, but if it's misery waiting for you either way, what's wrong with enjoying the time before it?"

Millie smiled. "You really are something, Lyserg."

Strangely, he liked that look she had on her face. Her eyes were warm, her skin was bright, and her lips-so soft. She was radiant.

Then she shivered again and cuddled in the blanket. Really, the night was so warm, Lyserg thought, she really must be in pain. Or perhaps it was shock. He knew that food could help with going over it, but…food wouldn't be what she needed most. "There's only one thing that could ease it off and I can't ask that form you."

He cursed his stupidity to high heaven. Of course she needed blood to heal, and him, being the damn idiot he was, sat there, amiably chatting, while he could ease her pain. "Millie…would some of my blood help you?"

She blinked. "Wha…"

"I said…"

"I heard. But…" she was about to ask why, but then, enquiring after his motives wouldn't get them anywhere. Her body ached, the pain and shock of the sudden 'growing up', and there was also a very distinguished throb, a painfully clear longing that had nothing to do with her usual state of ditzyness. Millie knew that his blood could satisfy her-she could feel the aroma through his skin, and if she looked closely, she would distinguish the veins as clearly as if on a map. And he was offering to help her, so surely there wouldn't be anything wrong…but what if he regretted it? What if he told? "Do you realize what you're saying here?" she asked, without any cunning or slyness in her voice.

She could hear him swallow dryly. "I do. You need it, right? And it wouldn't hurt me."

"No, but do you really understand the full concept of it? Do you understand what you're about to do? And the full consequences of it?"

Did he really? Had he thought about it at all? By the looks of things, he hadn't. And as far as she was concerned, he was just about to make the biggest mistake…ever.

Lyserg had never even pictured himself in a situation like this-he hadn't thought it possible to be with any girl in such a way, let alone with a vampire. And now he sat there, with Millie, offering his blood to her. But it wasn't because he felt obliged to, but because he wanted to. He wanted her to be fine. Safe. Happy. Why the hell wouldn't he be ready?

Lyserg nodded.

This is ridiculous, she thought as she watched him. She had to talk some common sense into him. This could turn into a disaster in the blink of an eye, and the girls might lose the only sanctuary they ever had because of her stupid cravings. But reason was soon overwhelmed by longing. Not lust, but longing. How long had it been since she was made love to? Definitely a while-even before a Nazi vampire decided to take advantage of a bombing to set up for himself a little feast on the streets of London. She still remembered how he unceremoniously fed off her, draining her up messily and tossing her aside like a useless thing. Millie didn't even know how she found the will to return, but after that, she never really made love to anyone.

The painful memories were only a part of the problem. Since she was attracted to the taste of love in the blood, the people she fed from were always a complication. They loved her, but she didn't love them back, even though she needed their blood. The whole process was revolving around a slow, dangerous dance on the edge, deceiving, making up sub stories and doubts, everything escalating to the moment of the whole…meal. And since Millie usually felt bad for using folks to satisfy her own stupid desires, she delayed eating as much as possible, staying in her chibi form almost constantly, and thus ending up with weirder and weirder…well, for the lack of a better term, lovers.

She had to feed-even if she took just enough to stay alive, the sadness was inevitable. She sought affection to live from it, and it was…disgusting, but necessary. And so the cycle continues, for no end. She had done things that could make people cringe in disgust. She had taken advantage of people's naivety and weaknesses and guilt to satisfy her hunger, sometimes in many creative ways, but every time, all she could feel for her victims was guilt, or pity at best.

Until now.

Millie sighed, took the blanket off and turned to face him fully. She was sitting on her knees, her hands resting on her thighs, not making any sort of movement. Her eyes didn't leave his, but her breathing turned deeper and slower, until her chest barely moved. Then she leaned in, slightly brushing her lips against his, to make him accommodate, then pressed her mouth fully.

He smelled just like his clothes, she thought, mint fresh and clean, without the cheap cologne guys had the tendency of showering themselves in. There was also a certain sweetness, something that wasn't going to give you cavities, but it was alluring enough. She knew now that it was the scent that attracted her, but Lyserg wasn't just some stranger that noticed her on the street, some millionaire who had a thing for little girls or some poor, lonesome guy who just wanted a person to admire.

It had been too long, she thought as she deepened the kiss. His lips opened without any cunning for her tongue and then she allowed him to mimic her motions with his. Their lips felt good, warm and smooth against the other's, wonderful and delicious. Obviously, he thought so too because he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

Millie pulled away just to take some air, before she kissed him again, softly, but with more authority. Her hands rested on his shoulders as she carefully pushed him to lie on the bed, and she paid careful attention not to brush his tongue with her teeth. Lyserg's hands started dropping from hr shoulders, roamed her back, the small hollow right above her buttocks, and then her sides, reaching the base of her breasts. His fingers were literally shaking when he ventured on her assets, but since she didn't make a move to stop him, he decided that he was on the right track and started kneading them softly.

She let out a small moan and separated her mouth from his, giving him an opportunity to kiss her neck. He didn't know why, but he liked necks. They were just so…kissable. Millie sighed softly, her delicate hands moving under his vest and playing on his chest. The tips of her fingers were brushing, squeezing and pressing at different spots. She wasn't trying to arouse him so far, Lyserg thought. Her actions were rather…relaxing him. A warmth bubbled in his chest and spread tranquility all over his limbs, making him feel really good.

Millie smiled slightly, then bent down and kissed his neck-lightly, and moved further south, both hands and lips leaving nothing but a trail of caresses, light like the flight of a butterfly. Her palms rested on his hip bones and he was amazed to find that he had been slightly aroused by her actions, but apparently, not enough to get too uncomfortable.

She knelt between his legs, supporting herself on one arm, trailing the edge of his pants with the other. Her touch was still light, but there was something in it that was keeping him alert. What was even more surprising was the fact that he wasn't feeling in danger, but more like…expectant.

"Now…" she began "I'm rather hesitant…This can get really ugly if it gets out of control."

"I know." He nodded

"That's why I'll try not to get too needy with you. Just lie back and relax, and I'll do my best not to hurt you."

Lyserg felt like protesting to that over protectiveness of hers, but he was aware that she knew better than him what to do.

She pulled his pants down his legs, leaving him in his boxers, and rubbed him through the soft fabric. He felt a bit lightheaded, but constantly alert, watching. From his vintage point, he could see her forms better than ever, moving under the undergarments she had. Her breasts seemed fuller, and her sports bra was obviously not big enough, because they seemed…oppressed. Suddenly, his boxers felt too tight, as his manhood got rock hard under her caresses.

Millie moved her fingers under the elastic holding them in place and looked up at him: "Lie back and close your eyes."

It wasn't a command, but the tone in which it was spoken was low, soft, velvety deep and…he couldn't not comply. He knew, rather than felt, when she pulled down his undergarments and started running her hands all over his shaft, her touch was still as light as ever. Lyserg wanted to look at her, to know what she was thinking, but her actions were only dazing him even more.

She wrapped her hand entirely around him and started pumping rhythmically. The dowser's breath hitched and his heart beat faster and faster, while Millie continued her ministrations. He winced as a surge of pleasure ran up his spine, sending a tingling feeling in his chest and all the way back to his fingertips. She gave him a pause, or perhaps she was just changing positions, but he managed to take a breath before something warm and wet wrapped around his length and…and he was sent straight to lust central.

He looked at Millie, who had taken him into his mouth, doing a pretty nice job with her lips, tongue, and fingers, as she licked, sucked and pumped. The pleasure she was giving him was so strong he couldn't even stand on his elbows, he threw his head back and groaned.

"God…oh, this is…ahh…please, don't stop…"

Not that she needed any encouragement, Millie thought as she ran her tongue all over him and then deep throated him. She wondered if he'd have any regrets later. She had done a very dangerous move, telling him everything and all, but then again, what choice did she have? Let Machi and Kana kill them? Even if she managed to live through it (very unlikely, without feeding regularly), Lyserg wouldn't have had the motivation to come back from the dead, if she dared try and bring him back. Besides, she thought with glee as she felt him tremble as he neared his climax, if she didn't, she wouldn't be doing this right now. If she approached him in this way, in this form, he definitely wouldn't have accepted-even if he happened to like her enough, he was too honorable to take advantage of a girl who hadn't even grown boobs yet.

Lyserg moaned loudly, clutching the sheets, as he saw white and his blood turned into red-hot lava. "Millie, I'm…"

A second later he exploded in her mouth, she closed her lips around him and swallowed his load quickly. As she released him, she kept stroking him with her hand, and with the other, she caressed the skin of his inner thigh. She found the Femoral vein easily, tracing it carefully with her fingertips, and lowered her head to place a small kiss on the spot, before slowly sinking her fangs in it.

The droplets of blood poured out, but she greedily licked them off, enjoying the honey-sweet taste and the rich aroma. The small punctures healed off quickly, but by that time she was more than full.

Millie looked up and saw Lyserg studying her from his position. She smiled, let go of him and put his boxers back on.

Was that it? He marveled as he scrambled up into a sitting position and looked down at his thigh in disbelief. He had barely felt a thing. And the puncture wounds weren't even visible. You wouldn't notice them unless you looked-they looked like mosquito bites. He turned to Millie, who sat on the bed with her back to him, her hand resting on her mouth, her eyes pensive.

"Are you alright?" he asked

"Yeah…yeah, I'm fine." She nodded

"You don't look fine."

"I am." She said so, but her face was white like paper.

"Did I…do something?" he blinked. Maybe his blood hadn't been good enough. But Millie shook her head, so he decided to try again "Did you…er…"

"It's nothing." She said quietly. Too quietly. Oh, no, please don't let her cry, Lyserg thought, but it was too late-the tears were streaming down her cheeks in even, clear streams. Oh God!

"Millie! Millie, please don't cry. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything…I did…" she sniffed "I…I'm sorry…I'm horrible. I shouldn't have…I'm so sorry…"

"For what?"

"For….everything. For you…seeing me like this…for dragging you into this and using you for my own selfish desires. It's unforgivable. I'm sorry…"

"Millie…" awkwardly placing a hand on her shoulder, Lyserg itched closer and hugged her "Millie, you had no choice. If you hadn't acted, we'd both be dead by now. You shouldn't feel sorry for that."

"But I've been in such situations before. It was painful, but I've endured it somehow. And now I…I…I got you involved. I shouldn't have."

"Well, I think you should've. You saved my life, Millie. You don't have to torture yourself like that!"

"But…"

"Was that all?" Lyserg asked, smiling "Because it's no reason for you to cry." He wiped her tears away and was rewarded with a smile "Now, are you sure you had enough?"

"I told you, I don't need much, not when your blood is so delicious. Besides, I already have a lot of you in me." She laughed at his expression "Don't worry, Lyserg. I'm much better now. Thank you."

"My pleasure." He laid down next to her and turned to face her fully "Will this delay your….transformation?"

"No. I'm feeling much stronger now. I think I can control my form if I try." Her face darkened "Do you want me to go now?"

"No!" he exclaimed quickly "Not at all. I was just…asking. But…wouldn't your friends worry? Ellie and the others…"

"They'll be fine. It's happened before. If I come back by morning, it'll all be fine."

"Oh…" that made sense…in a way. Lyserg smiled-at least they could stay together for some more time. He caressed her side and kissed her again, earning a surprised gasp and a little moan of pleasure. He noticed her skin was hotter and softer than last time he touched her, and that her breasts were harder, excited against him. Their limbs intertwined in a full body embrace and his hands slid under the top she wore. It was…amazing. And the sounds she made only made him more eager.

His palm came on her breast and she discarded her top and bra in one smooth, practiced motion. Pressed fully against him, she could only enjoy the furious blush spreading all over his face and counterattack with another drugging kiss.

It was when Lyserg realized he was on top of her, ravishing her breasts and squeezing her thighs as if he'd never seen a girl (ok, maybe he hadn't, but it doubtable), that he was getting a little over his head. She was pressing him to her, and she sounded very satisfied, but maybe she was doing it because she thought he wanted it (not that he didn't). But what if he messed up? Scratch that, he was definitely going to mess it up.

"What's wrong?" Millie asked, noticing his hesitation.

"I…erm…sorry…I don't know what came over me." He said, with every intention of getting off her and running away. But she held him in place, her brow quizzical.

"I think we both know what came over you. Are you worried that I may do something rash?"

"No." he blinked "I…eh…I don't want to force you into something…and I don't have any condoms here anyway, it would definitely be bad if I…"

"Knocked me up? Don't worry." She smiled "For vampires, a certain period of time has to pass before we can carry any children."

"So you mean that…"

"Even if I'm considerably older than you, I can't get pregnant…at least for a couple of more decades." She mused "Is that all? Lack of contraception? I can take some pills later, if it'll make you feel better."

"That's not…I also…I'm not quite experienced in this…the only time it happened, it was so bad she didn't look at me again."

"Oh?" now that was surprising. He didn't strike her as a sex fiend. Did it happen when he was with the X-laws? If so, which was likeliest to be true, Millie thought, then the number of possible partners narrowed down to two. Jeanne was a possibility, but that goody-goody two shoes was too concentrated on saving the world to have reckless sex, so that left Meene…hmm…. "Maybe she felt guilty for forcing it on you."

"She didn't force it on me…actually, I don't even know what happened. We were just…talking and then…"

Poor guy, Millie thought, he really must've had it tough on him. "Look, if you don't want to…"

"I want to." Lyserg sighed "You have no idea how much I want to…but I'm not sure I can give you enough."

"What am I going to do with you?" she sighed deeply, coming closer to him "Look, it's not about skill here. It's on concentrating on your partner and stay alert. If you both watch out and make sure the other feels pleasure, then it's alright. Besides…" she winked "You can't get better if you don't practice."

With that, she pushed him on his back and kissed him madly, discarding their last articles of clothing as easily as she had discarded his inhibitions.

* * *

Lyserg didn't know what exactly irked him about people, until he actually listened to a conversation two shamans were having during Yoh's coronation.

"Look at this guy, the one with the green head."

"Is that a guy?"

"Yeah, I heard his friends talking to him. Doesn't he remind you of that kid in the gender-blender manga we saw yesterday."

"Yeah. He's kinda girlish."

"Maybe that's why he's going out with that kid next to him-he couldn't get anyone better."

"Yeah, but they're cute together, don't you think?"

Cute. They thought they were cute. Not that they weren't, but it irked him nevertheless.

All of his friends had found some sort of relationship and marveled the way he kept going out with Millie on movies and cafes. After all, he had never really showed any signs of affection to her. Then again, they couldn't do anything but chastely peck their cheeks when they were in public, given Millie's usual chibified form.

A few hours later, when the boring ceremony was over and the party-died out, they were in his room, lying on the bed, sweat-soaked and tired, but totally satisfied. Millie purred contentedly when Lyserg spooned against her and removed some bangs from her neck to kiss it tenderly. For just a couple of months, he had turned out to be quite a proficient student.

"As much as I enjoy that…" she said "You should really let go of me now. Ellie wants me to go pack my stuff, and if we continue this, I'm not sure if I'd be back by tomorrow."

"All the more reasons why should we continue." He said, flipping her on her back to gaze at her naked beauty. "I don't understand why you should go."

"Don't play dumb, you know why." Millie shook her head "I have to stay with my friends. I owe it to them."

"But wouldn't they want you to be happy?"

"They do."

"Then why won't you come with me, back to London, so it would be just the two of us?" he asked, a pained look in his eyes. She sighed-no matter what topic they picked up recently, it always came down to this.

"Neither of us is ready for this, Lyserg. Nor the world, for that matter. While I have no family to oppose this, your relatives…"

"Couldn't care less while I stay out of their way. The mean nothing to me, Millie. Nothing to us."

"But they certainly would wonder why you brought a girl with you back from America. It doesn't matter if I look 12 or 20, for the law, we're both underage. We can't start jobs to support ourselves, and we definitely can't start a life as a….a couple, if we don't reach an age when we could do that."

"In other words, wait." He groaned annoyingly.

"Don't say that." She moaned "Lyserg, what if Yoh-kun should come and visit and finds me there? Are we to lie to him? Or tell him the truth? He deserves it, but do you think everyone would cope with it?"

That was her winning card, always. No matter how they felt, they owed Yoh a lit, and even now, keeping the truth from him was hard. They couldn't help it-he was like a cute doggy you couldn't dare kick because it would cry. Still…

"I guess I can't convince you." Lyserg sighed, his equivalent of 'you win again' "But…" he added with a sly smile "I think that the lest I can do is take advantage of all the time we have left." With that, he picked up her legs, put them on his shoulders and slowly kissed down her navel. Her soft sighs and moans graduately filled the room…

And as she lay, a couple of hours later, sound asleep in his arms, Lyserg watched her sleeping form with awe and thought that he would wait. No matter what, he'd wait. Because he loved her, and with them having an eternity before them, what did some years of patience matter? Either way, it would be totally worth the wait.

* * *

A/N-Erm...review, if you're not too disgusted with me.


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